kdiddy.org

…or whatever it is that Pooh says.
Since the boyfriend only had school today, we took a special trip down to Arsenal Park. Well, I make it sound simpler than it really was. The baby and our did our usual morning routine, the only deviation being his sudden interest in this dinky little tricycle that's been sitting down in the basement for a year. We rode around on that outside for awhile, until he fell over and hit the back of his head on the brick walkway. Ow. By that time, the boyfriend was home from school and I had excitedly suggested the park trip. The boyfriend, predictably said, “Cool, but let me go check my email first.” An hour later, the baby and I were sitting in the kitchen, he in his stroller, both whining, “Come OOONNNNN! Let's GOOOOOOO!” There was a very practical reason for me wanting to get going. A lot of times, if the baby doesn't go down for a nap by a certain point in the afternoon, all hope of a nap is lost for the day. That can really suck. I wanted to go and get back so that he wouldn't miss naptime. Whatever. Boyfriend got all pissy at me for dragging him away from his very important email and then snapped at me again when I asked him what time we were going over to his mother's house. the fuck?
Anyway, we walked over to the park but the baby was being weird. He didn't really want to go down the slide or anything, and was crying pretty hard for no apparent reason. This, of course, was all my fault. At least, that was the boyfriend's theory. My mere presence turns any situation into a No-Fun Zone as I suck all of the enjoyment out of life…or something. I think that it had something to do with the ladybug infestation. I personally removed about a dozen ladybugs from the slide. Anyway, I was banished over to the other side of the park and I really didn't mind all that much. Dad and son got some quality time in, which is something that they've been lacking. I played hopscotch and talked with some kids who were on recess from the adjoining K-8 school. A couple of moms and their little ones filtered in while they waited for their older kids to be dismissed from school. My neighborhood, while it is certainly in the process of being gentrified by yuppies, still has some rather sad characters drifting about. Case in point, the mother who came with her two kids and was missing nearly all of her teeth. The teeth that she did have were rotting to the point where I could practically see through them. It was disturbing. She couldn't have been much older than me. Her kids were fairly well-behaved, although her older son, who was about 6, was none too pleased with my son's habit of following him around just to see what he was doing. At one point he told me, “Tell your son to quit chasing me.” I gave him a dirty look but said, “He's not chasing you, he's just impressed since you're so big and can do so many cool things.” Little shit. Later on, the older kid and his friend bumped into the baby, pointed at him, yelled “Ew!” and then ran away. I couldn't help but laugh. I told my kid, “You'd better just get used to that, buddy. Both your dad and I got a lot of that when we were little. I don't think there's much hope for you not being weird. Besides, they're lemmings.” Hell, we still get the adult version of that now. No matter. We rule. Even if the boyfriend's a total punk to me sometimes.
:-p
I poked around the playground a little bit more and found some interesting things. A Donald Duck charm, a spike from some piece of punk paraphernalia, some broken glass, and this gem of graffiti “Truth or Dare: Guys cum daily (truth) Let him cum in your mouth (dare).” That's nice. Hey, at least it was spelled correctly. Maybe the public school system isn't as bad as it seems.
Then I watched the kids from the school go back inside once their gym class was over. They have to get patted down and have their backpacks searched by security guards before reentering leaving the field. Weird.
When I returned to the boyfriend and the baby, I noticed that the boyfriend, especially when he gets into a parent-concentrated area, turns into one of Them. Those weird parents. It's not real bad, but he looks at the other kids that are slightly older than our baby and worries that ours is somehow lagging behind. Today he was worried because this 2 and 1/2 year old little boy could speak in complete sentences. I told him to quit being silly. Our kid kinda says sentences and besides, by the time he's 2 and 1/2 I don't even want to think about all of the things that he'll be able to say. The only area where our kid is behind is weight. Other than that he's right on time. And anyway, who cares? I don't know.

At some point today I let a humongous horsefly in here. Ass.
I'm hungry.

My next door neighbor just called and asked me, “What's up with your mom?”
What a fucking loaded question.

In all seriousness, my mom drives her to Weight Watchers and she's running a little late tonight. But still, that was a funny way to put it.

-bees and drivers seriously seem to be out to get me. While walking today the baby and I were almost hit again. I was also harrassed by a couple of near-death, maniacal yellow jackets. I hate those things.

-It was a gorgeous day today, but I'm starting to feel a little panicked because Halloween is almost here and we haven't done any fun, Halloween stuff (ie, go to Trax Farm, go to a haunted house, but a pumpkin).

-I stopped to chat with these two guys who were standing at the bus stop outside of Foodland. I don't like to make assumptions, but I'm fairly certain that they were somehow mentally challenged. They said hi to the baby, asked how old he was, and then said, “You're a good mother.” I said thanks, but was a little confused. I mean, I AM a good mother, but how would they know that?

–Carnivale is seriously my new obsession. It's so great.

-I'm going to be 25 very soon. eek! I'm halfway through my twenties, which is a very weird feeling…older than I've ever been and all of that nonsense. I keep stressing about finding a job and thinking these dumb thoughts like, “I was sure that by the time I was 25 I would have a great career and blahblahblah.” But I've been encouraging myself more and more to just be thankful that I've been able to chill out with my son during the first few years of his life. It's very cool that he and I are just together all the time. I don't know. I can just imagine how much I will miss him when we're first separated during the day for school and work.

-Weight Watchers tonight. I don't want to go. Don't think I will.

-How exactly do I end up with this much laundry after only a few days?

I want to start off by saying that my Internet was broken over the weekend. I'm not sure what the ultimate problem was but things seem to be functioning fine. Despite that, I hate you, Verizon.
Anyway, the swooshy event on Saturday was pretty fun. The boyfriend and I were quite a handsome couple. My mom even took pictures of us before we left, and I couldn't help but gush, “It's like the prom we never had!” Well, it was just like that except he didn't give me a corsage and I didn't get laid afterward. Drat.
Adding to the promness of the evening, my mom let us borrow her Civic. We were all in agreement that pulling up to a swooshy event in the 1990 Ford Tempo/Indie Rockmobile would be low-class.
The new convention center is just enormous. It's nice, but it still has a very industrial feel to it. Not too warm. The section we were in was decorated all neat and Jurassic Park-like, and I finally got to see all of the dinosaurs up close. (If you would like to see what dinosaurs I'm talking about, go to http://www.dinomitedays.org/pictures.htm for pics.) The coolest part of the evening were these stiltwalkers. They're pretty hard to describe, but there's a picture of one of them here: http://www.post-gazette.com/seen/20031020event1020p1.asp
I'm not very good at schmoozing, but I did my best. During the “grazing” style dinner, I talked to some business-looking people who were pretty nice and they introduced me to a bunch of their friends. One guy was talking to me about being a writer and whatnot and somehow got my last name totally wrong. He kept introducing me to other people as Kelly or Katie DeLAWNey. He introduced me to Marilynn Uricchio, who was, to my dismay, not trying to take my picture for the SEEN column. Pfft. I tried to chitchat with her about the PG, but she was distracted. Coincidentally, I ran into one of the my writing teachers at the Eddie Izzard show last week. He's the drama critic for the PG and I went over to say hi to him. He was distracted as well. I don't know what it is with the staff at the PG. None of them like me anymore. Humph.
The auction part was pretty exciting. I think the highest bid got up to $18,000, all of which is going to the museum and to charity.
After the auction, I went to try to find the PR people. I guess since the boyfriend and I were more or less the youngest people there, security tried to give us shit. I don't know how often people go to the trouble of putting on tuxedoes and evening gowns to crash galas, but it must be more often than I thought. We were stopped at the entrance and interrogated about where our tickets were and whatnot. I kept trying to explain that I was supposed to be there, even though I hadn't purchased a ticket. They wouldn't listen to me, so finally I got kind of shitty and irate (no doubt partially due to the fact that I had been in high heels for far too long and my strapless bra was really starting to hurt), shoved my press kit in their faces and said, “LOOK! I am with the MEDIA! the MEDIA! I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! I don't have a ticket because I AM WITH THE MEDIA!” They gave me a dirty look but let me back in. Snots. I felt kind of like a fraud, though, since all of the other media people had an entourage and stuff. I told the boyfriend I should have just given him my camera and made him follow me around while I barked orders at him. That made him laugh.
We met Mayor Tom Murphy aka the Most Unpopular Man in Pittsburgh. He's short. He was just walking around by himself, so we just introduced ourselves to him. He was pretty nice and talked to us for a good 15 minutes. When I told him that I wrote for Pulp, he laughed, which made me blush. When I was telling Shanley this today he said it was probably because Pulp has run two cover stories about how he should be impeached. Maybe.
The party portion for the evening was alright. The DJ, Lady Bunny, was this drag queen who wore this really sickeningly sequined dress and lip synched along to the songs she was playing. All of the drunken socialites got out on the dancefloor and started getting their Cabbage Patch on. We stayed off to the side and giggled, until we realized that, since the party was open to the public, all of the riffraff was starting to show up (ie, hipsters). Two guys in track suits, mullet wigs, and aviator glasses started faux-breakdancing on the dancefloor. The socialites thought this was hysterical. I left the boyfriend shaking his head while I went off in search of a cocktail. Sigh. All I have to say is fuck an open bar if you're not going to have any good alcohol at it. I asked for a Cosmopolitan and got a splash of Jacquin's, a splash of cranberry juice, and about a 1/2 cup of grenadine. In a red wine glass. Barf. I drank it anyway, because I figured if it's free then I might as well get a little tipsy. Didn't work though. More drag queens showed up. Then this very handsome older gay guy came over to us and asked the boyfriend if he minded if he gave me a compliment. The boyfriend said no, of course not. Then he said to me, “You look like you stepped out of a Botticelli painting. You're gorgeous.” *melt* I blushed so hard that I made the guy laugh, then made a mental note that I need to have more gay guys in my circle of friends. 😉
I finally ran into the PR girl again, who introduced me to some friend of hers as “Kristen Delaney.” I was really starting to get uncomfortable at that point. My shoes were killing me and my bra seemed to have some kind of time-release rib-stabbing contraption installed. We bought the baby a souvenir tshirt, stood around for a little while longer, then left.
When we got home, I tripped and fell walking up to the house…because I'm an ass. I tore my skirt a little bit, but it's on the seam so I think it'll be okay.
Yesterday, instead of doing fun stuff like go to the Allegheny Cemetery with and , I had to go to a Ladies' Luncheon. These are gatherings that my grandmother hosts for all of the ladies in our family and they happen twice a year. That wouldn't be too bad except that they're always on really busy weekends. The one this past May was the day after my graduation party, so I had to sit through lunch and chitchat while nursing a hangover. Yesterday I was just really tired, but another problem is that they always happen when the baby should be taking his nap. Long story short, we were there for FIVE HOURS. Toward the end the baby and I were both close to tears. When we finally got home, I had a mini-meltdown because the Internet was still broken and my Discover card bill was late. I called Discover to beg them not to charge me a late fee, but to no avail. $25 down the drain. Fuck debt. Discover sucks, too.
The baby went to bed pretty early and I curled up in front of the TV to watch Carnivale. My mom went to the store “just for a few things.” Right at a big, climactic moment of the show, the phone rang. My mom needed help unloading the groceries. She always does that. Luckily, I was taping the show.

The baby's been resisting his nap lately and I really hope that that doesn't mean that he's done with naps altogether. That would really really suck. Right now, for instance, he's just sitting in his crib, talking. Grunt.

It's going to be a boring evening, which I guess is good in comparison to the swooshiness that we will be swept up in tomorrow evening. My mom's making us watch Philadelphia, which means any minute now I'm going to start sobbing. Augh. So, stupid survey. This was in and .

LAYER ONE: On The Outside
Name = Kelly
Birth date = 10-31-1978
Birthplace = Magee Women's Hospital, Pittsburgh, PA
Current Location = Lawrenceville section of Pittsburgh, PA
Eye Color = blue
Hair Color = red
Height = 5'4″
Righty or Lefty = righty
Zodiac Sign = Scorpio

LAYER TWO: On The Inside
Your heritage = Irish,Scottish
Shoes you wore today = just some ratty old house slippers. It wasn't a very nice today so we didn't get out for our walk or anything.
Your fears = That someone will hurt my son or try to take him away from me; that something bad will happen to the boyfriend; my paranoid fears about myself include rape and murder.
Your perfect pizza = thin crust, olive oil, basil, little bit of tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, fresh green peppers, onions…or, in a pinch, something greasy that screams “second-generation American.”
Goal you'd like to achieve = Be the best mom that I can be.

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your most overused phrase on aim = yeah
Your thoughts first waking up = grunt
Your best physical feature = eyes or hair
Your bedtime = around 12

LAYER FOUR: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke = Coke
McDonald's or Burger King = Neither. That stuff wreaks havoc on my stomach.
Single or group dates = Single
Adidas or Nike = Adidas, I suppose. I'm currently a New Balance fan, though.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea = I really don't like iced tea that much.
Chocolate or vanilla = Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee = Cappuccino

LAYER FIVE: Do You?
Smoke = Not anymore
Cuss = A good bit, although I've had to tone it down since the baby started mimicking us.
Sing = to my son at night before he goes to bed, sometimes around the house.
Take a shower everyday = Usually every other day.
Have a crush(es) = Not currently.
Like(d) high school = Sometimes. It was generally the stereotypical, angst-ridden, piece of crap that everyone else I know experienced.
Want to get married = Yes, although…well, that's a whole other post.
Believe in yourself = Off and on.
Get motion sickness = No.
Think you're attractive = Yes, although it's not something that I worry about.
Think you're a health freak = Sometimes. I eat my fair share of crap, but I'm trying to turn my whole family toward the healthy stuff. Once I'm making money I'll be able to shop at the fancy organic stores or the East End Food Co-op.
Get along with your parents = Yes. My mom and I have spats, but nothing serious.
Like thunderstorms = Yes. They're fun to listen to and watch.
Play an instrument = I took flute lessons for four years, but I wasn't very good.

LAYER SIX: In the past month have you…
Drank alcohol = yes
Smoked = No
Done a drug = I've had some of the herbal stuff.
Made Out = yes
Gone on a date = Yes, to the movies with the boyfriend before “the incident.” ;-p
Gone to the mall? = The Waterfront strip mall.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos = No…I don't know if I could.
Eaten sushi = Yes, thanks to my girlfriend, , and the Pittsburgh Glass Center.
Been on stage = No
Been dumped = No
Gone skating = No
Gone skinny dipping = No
Dyed your hair = No
Stolen anything = No

LAYER SEVEN: Ever…
Played a game that required removal of clothing = Probably.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated = Er, yeah.
Been caught “doing something” = Yes.
Been called a tease = Sorta.
Gotten beaten up = No
Shoplifted = No.

LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older
Age you hope to be married = By 30
Numbers and Names of Children = 1, Kingston
Describe your dream wedding = Ehhh, I'd like something kind of intimate, but unless I elope, my mom and grandmother will make sure that it's a humongous event. As long as I get married and there's lots of good people, good music, good food, and good champagne and I look stunning, I'll be happy.
How do you want to die = Old, fulfilled, holding my son's hand, listening to the second movement of Bach's Concerto for Two Violins
What do you want to be when you grow up = Continuing to be a good mom, career-wise, doing something fulfilling that pays well and has good benefits.
What country(ies) would you most like to visit = All of them. Seriously, I haven't been anywhere.

LAYER NINE: In a boy/girl (I'll do boys)
Best eye color? = brown
Best hair color? = brown
Short or long hair = Short
Height = My height or taller
Best articles of clothing = A sweater or sweatshirt that he always wears so that when I borrow it I can smell him.
Best first date location = Well, when the boyfriend and I first got together, we went to Eat N Park one night around 12 or 1 a.m. to talk about our feelings for each other and our transition from friends to a couple. When we were done we walked out into the night and it had just started snowing. We walked, arm in arm, back to my house on the quiet streets of Squirrel Hill, and it was just perfect.

LAYER TEN: In The Numbers…
Number of drugs taken illegally = Uh, two, and then I drank alcohol before I was 21.
Number of people I could trust with my life with = My mom, my dad, my grandmother, my boyfriend…so 4. When he's older, I'm sure that I'll be able to trust my son with my life.
Number of CDs that I own = groan…I have no idea. tons.
Number of piercing = 1 in the nose, 1 defunct navel
Number of tattoos = 2
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = As a writer, a bunch. As a part of an article, maybe 5 or 6.
Number of scars on my body = Some pox marks, a C-section scar, and a buttload of stretch marks.
Number of things in my past that I regret = one or two.

I wrote these articles for Pulp this week:
http://www.pittsburghpulp.com/content/2003/10_16/arts_art.shtml
The first is a piece about SALVO, then if you scroll down you'll see the little thing that I wrote about the fancy shmancy Dinosaur event at the new Convention Center this weekend.
Cindy, one of the editors at Pulp, called me earlier and told me that the PR firm for the dinosaur thing was going to give me some free tickets to the black-tie gala. The going rate for this event? $200! So the boyfriend and I are going to be having a $400+ evening for free…Well, not totally. We're currently having trouble scrounging together formal wear….cause we're scrubs. But this should be cool.
Gotta go, my kid's running around with a sharp pencil. That's always nice.

The boyfriend went to class, came home for lunch, then went to work. About 45 minutes later, he came home and got on the phone with his mom. I overheard that the electricity for the record store where he works was shut off. Ick. No money.
Then, I was in the kitchen, and he comes running through. On his way out the door he says, “I'mgoingtoavolleyballgameloveyoubye.”*
???

On Saturday, I'm getting a newish bed. My grandparents got a new mattress and are giving me their very nice headboard and their mattress. I don't know how old their mattress is, but it's probably younger than mine, which squeaks and creaks all over the place.

Oprah is on. Did you know that murder is the leading cause of death in pregnant women? Not only that, it's usually their husbands and boyfriends that do the killing. I believe and I discussed this before. Remember the good old days when men just left you? Now they go ahead and kill you, too. Gah.

*I realized after he left that his little sister was playing in said game.

I was in the bathroom a little while ago, preparing for the day. I went to put my contacts in, opened the container and was shocked to realize that they weren't in there. I looked around, puzzled for a minute, and then I realized that I ALREADY HAD PUT MY CONTACTS IN! What's worse, I totally don't remember doing it.
Also, when I originally typed the post asking about the herbs, I typed, “Gingko Balboa.”

Whatever.

Tiny bit of sex this morning, but no joy for me.
*tears hair out*

What's the herb that you're supposed to take to help your memory? St. John's Wort? Gingko Biloba? Ginseng? My brain is absolute mush. I would tell you all about the dumb things that I've done over the past week…but I've forgotten most of them.
Hey, where are my feet?