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They discontinued Mr. Pibb? I did not know this, but then I never really kept tabs on the stuff. I’m a Coca-Cola purist and only recently have deviated from that paradigm because I suddenly developed an addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper out of nowhere. They also discontinued Josta, which is a total tragedy for…uh…the 14 people who ever drank it. I think John Cougar Mellencamp was one of them.

But, not to worry. I can still buy a case of Mr. Pibb for a little less than $600. Sweet! And Josta’s a bargain at $175 a six-pack.

Aside: who are these “they” I keep referring to? The Overlords of Pop? I know not.

Also: Crystal Pepsi Wall Clock. Want. Even though Crystal Gravy was superior.

Crystal Gravy

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The baby has gotten better about letting me sleep in a little bit on the weekends. He’ll entertain himself by babbling in his bed, listening to music, playing in his room or just plopping on the couch to watch some TV.

The cat? Not so much. About 10 minutes after the baby went downstairs and I was well into a weird little dream about receiving drunken, incoherent gmail chats from Angela, the cat jumped up on me and started cooing and chirping and meowing in my face and sticking his cold nose into my ear. When that didn’t work, he started swatting at my head with his claws slightly extended, as if to say, “Betch, you better come correct with some Iam’s tout suite or I will cut you.”

We’re going to Akron today for a friend’s wedding. I was all excited about it but now I’m feeling worn out and lazy. Oh, well.

Flying Spaghetti Monsterists earn a spot on the agenda of the American Academy of Religion’s annual meeting.

The superintendent of schools wants to close my alma mater, and the students are fighting to save it. We drove past this rally the other night and honked in support. It was really awesome to hear the cheers that came in response. Apparently there is a new ninth-grade civics class called “Be the Change,” which, I’m guessing, teaches students how to create change themselves, not wait for it happen to them by someone else’s hands. The rallying students took their lessons to the streets.

I’m so proud of them. The district seems intent on closing the school and splitting it up, no matter how many sensible arguments they hear from the opposition. Perhaps this is inevitable. But at this time in history, when governments seem to feel that they can do whatever they want because they receive no resistance from the people they serve, it’s wonderful to hear someone say, “No!”

These kids are smack dab in the middle of one of the most self-centered and passive generations that the world has ever seen. And they’re not taking it. They’re not selling themselves short. They know what they have and they know that the school is THEIRS, not Mark Roosevelt’s.

What was so wonderful and unique about Schenley was that you had every single socioeconomic group represented there and they all got along. There were no static cliques. There was no popular crowd. Sure, there were groups of people that gravitated to one another, but it was never like, “Well, you’re really smart and you’re headed to college, therefore you can’t hang out with the kids that sneak out to smoke,” or “You’re a jock, therefore you can’t hang out with the pimply kid playing Magic.” People moved between groups like water. And, yes, we had school spirit because we knew how uncommon it is to fit 3,000 extremely different people into one building and have only minor incidents. We knew how uncommon it is for people to have a sense of pride in their high school. We knew how uncommon it is to find a place where a guy can come to school wearing a dress and make it through the day intact. We knew how uncommon it is to see rough kids from the ‘hood working in pottery class next to ballerinas from the suburbs.

That is what these kids are trying to save. And if the district really cares about them, they better damn well listen. Because if we’re not going to fight for our kids and their wellbeing, then what the hell is there worth fighting for?

For the past five years, my friend Karen has run a really awesome business called Girls Night In. She and former partner Alison have hosted educational lectures and parties, which are like Tupperware parties but with sex toys. Best of all, GNI is based on feminist ideals, so instead of a Cosmo-tinged “how to make your man go wild,” their focus was on helping the ladies ensure that they made themselves go wild.

Sadly, the party aspect of GNI will be no more. Karen will be holding a “going out of business” sale tonight in the hopes of sending all of those dildos and vibrators to loving holes homes.

The sale will be held at Amani International Coffeehouse from 8:00pm-10:00pm.

Any additional details that you might need can be found on the GNI site.

If you are in the Pittsburgh area, check it out. Your vagina will thank you. And so will Karen, probably.

I went to Student Health today for a UTI. I feel 19 again! Heh.

The husband and I watched a Paul Mooney stand-up special on Showtime last night. Oh my god. I was in tears, it was so funny. We saw him live a couple of years ago and I nearly peed myself. He’s hilarious…and insane. When we saw him he wore this military coat and a big hat with ear flaps the whole time.

So, yeah, I updated my links page the other day…

Sigh.

I really don’t know how people work from home. Aside from all of the distractions luring me away from being productive, there are other people who live here. And those other people are…how can I put this nicely and in a way that doesn’t diminish my love for them?

Those other people are obnoxious.

I have a new freelance gig and had squeezed in a phone interview yesterday. When I called the guy I got his voice mail, so I left a message telling him to call me back. He did a few hours later.

My voice recorder kicked the bucket a few weeks ago and I didn’t really grasp how much I would miss it until I was on the phone with this guy, furiously typing away notes, when the baby came upstairs.

He has a “sandwich” he had made for me and wants me to “eat” it right away. My silent shoos kind of work…but then he goes to the bathroom where the husband is taking a shower. So the husband starts yelling at the baby to close the door before the smoke alarm goes off (a charming quirk) and the baby starts whining back and they’re being incredibly loud. The guy on the phone is talking and talking and I’m saying “Mmhmm. Mmhmm,” even though I can’t hear anything and trying to close the door which doesn’t really close because our house is old and crooked. The baby sees this and pushes his way through. I give up and go back to my computer…and the cat is curled up on the keyboard.

I’m going to have, like, one vague quote for this article and whatever my cat managed to type out with its stomach. Great.

My cat is chasing his tail. Is that normal? It’s amusing enough to watch. He sits down, turns around and stares at his tail, which he twitches ever so slightly, then pounces. The tail is controlled by HIS brain, correct? I should probably stop spiking his water bowl with rum.

I am currently holed up in my bedroom “doing homework.” The Steelers/Browns game is on and I…I just can’t watch. I’m too stressed out as it is and Ben Roethlisberger gets my blood pressure up. And the husband’s behavior during a game is really, really jarring.

I am totally addicted to Everyday Food and of course got all nerdily excited when the new issue showed up in my mailbox today and got even MORE nerdily excited when I saw the special holiday baking issue advertised. Of course, you have to either go to a newsstand and buy it or call the 800 number on the advertisement to order.

So I call…and the customer service rep has no idea what I’m talking about. Shouldn’t they be kept abreast of these things?

And before you think that this behavior indicates my Stepford qualities, let me assure you that my house is completely fucking gross right now…a reflection of its owner.

Edit: Oh my god, the hold music is a Muzak version of a Gin Blossoms song. This is depressing.

Edit edit: Seriously. The rep got back on the phone after five minutes on hold because she had to “consult a specialist” and then I got disconnected. Life sucks.